Edward Cullen meets Batman
by Van Wolfe
Summary: During his rebellious days while he hunted criminals, Edward meets The Dark Knight himself. One shot.


How long had it been since he left his father? Nine years, maybe ten. He couldn't tell for sure. Time is a curious thing. Sometimes you are able to tell how many seconds are left until something happens, but sometimes you aren't even sure of what year is it. You may be counting the seconds left until new year, and might even check the time in other countries just so you know when the new year is going to start in each country. But once it's over you will hardly care about what time it is in Africa, or Japan.

Edward had that same problem. He wasn't able to tell what time it was in Africa at that moment, how many days were left until the next full moon, or even what time it was right there in London, where he strolled through the night.

He didn't care about time anymore. It didn't matter to him at all, because though the days kept going by, his own time had long stopped. His internal clock had stopped ticking that day, the day he became a Vampire.

The curse that fell upon him made him into a monster. He needed blood to live on. Not human blood mind you, just blood. Vampires could live on animal blood as well. It wasn't as satisfying as human blood, mind you. But they could survive on it. But sometimes, it didn't stop the sudden urges for slaughter and human blood they had. Not many vampires chose to live on animal blood, for their own thirst was far more important to them.

Edward tried to abstain from killing humans, but animal blood could only hold him for so long. To his father disappointment, he had become a regular vampire. The kind that killed innocent people, without a second thought.

What his father didn't know was that he hadn't become a complete monster. He would kill people, yes. But not a single day would go by, without him wondering whether he was doing the right thing.

And he didn't kill innocent people either, no sir. He killed those who deserved to die, those who would cause far more damage than Edward ever could. Murderers, criminals who escaped justice. But that would not escape him. For he was able to read their deepest thoughts, by just looking at them.

The things he had heard inside those criminal's minds were enough motivation for him. The terrible things they did, and that they would still do, were more than enough reason for them to die.

And as he strolled down the cold streets of a Victorian London, he heard something. Not a voice, but a thought. It sounded distant, but it also sounded loud. It had a murderous intent. The thoughts he had were, for a lack of a better word, disorganized. Insane even. It was definitely a dangerous psychopath. The perfect prey for him.

Edward kept walking; sure that he would find the source of those thoughts. He took a couple of steps. Louder now. He looked around for a sign of the person. Even louder. He walked a little more.

There he was. His victim, his prey. He had a knife on his hand and was staring at a house with a creepy smile on his face.

Edward took a step forward. There was no one in the streets to witness that man's death. It would take less than a second for him to snap his neck, and start drinking his blood. In three seconds he had decided to kill him. Two seconds now. One second…

Suddenly, before the vigilante vampire could finish off his victim, a boomerang shaped object hit the criminal in the legs. Edward blinked, and after he opened his eyes the criminal was on the ground, both legs and arms tied up.

What had just happened? Edward took a step forward to see the men better.

He wasn't sure who was the most peculiar one. The criminal, who had a white face covered by make up, or the mysterious man besides him, dressed in what looked like a black cape.

"You really love me, don't you?" The pale man laughed. "You followed me until the nineteenth century. You must really love him."

The pale man again started to laugh, this time in a more maniacal tone. The man dressed in black held him by his shirt.

"Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep killing people?"

Edward was shocked. So the man in black knew that the murderer was a murderer. But how? No one else besides him should be able to find out things like this. No one else besides him could do that!

"Hahaha! Don't you understand, darling? This is what I do. This is what _we _do. I kill people. You try to stop me. You refuse to kill me, and I kill more people later."

The murderer laughed. The man in black took a second before answering, almost as if hesitating.

"…I will not kill you. I refuse to become like you."

"If you won't, I will." Edward said, suddenly stepping in.

Both of them looked at him. It was tough to tell what the man in black's reaction was, because he was wearing a mask. The criminal was smiling, but he seemed to be smiling all the time.

"Who are you?" The man in black asked.

"My name is Edward."

"Eddie! My name is the Joker. Nice to meet you."

The joker. Was he mocking Edward?

"What do you want?" The man in black asked.

"I want to kill him."

"Hahaha! You? Kill me?" The criminal laughed. "Now _this _is going to get _interesting. _Tell him why he can't kill me, bats!"

Despite the mask, it was clear that the man in black wasn't fond of agreeing with the criminal. He sighed, before answering.

"If you kill him, you will be just like him. I don't know who you are, but I won't let you kill him."

"Oh? Are you going to stop me?" Edward chuckled.

The man in black pulled out what it looked like a bat shaped boomerang out of his pocket.

Edward was holding his laughter. A human being, stopping him? That was absolutely impossible. He was a vampire. He wasn't just like those frail humans.

"Yes. I am." The man in black replied, as he threw the boomerang at him.

It was getting harder to hold his laughter. He grabbed the boomerang without even flinching, and kept staring at the man in black.

"Are you still going to stop me?" Edward mocked.

The criminal started to laugh. Edward smiled. The criminal seemed to understand the situation. A mere mortal was up against him, an immortal.

"I know what you are thinking Eddie. A mere mortal, trying to stop you?"

Edward smiled. That was exactly what he was thinking. Pity he was going to have to kill the criminal. He was starting to like him.

"But Eddie, I must warn you." The Joker said. "There is nothing mere about that mortal."

This time, the man in black was the one smiling. Edward looked at the boomerang, and suddenly felt something that resembled pain. His muscles wouldn't listen to him. What was happening? It didn't quite feel like pain. It resembled pain, but…

Before the vampire could finish his trail of thought, he had fallen to the ground. He still wasn't sure of what had just happened.

"What a _shocking _turn of events Eddie!"

Though Edward didn't know, he had just gotten electrocuted by the boomerang. The man seemed to be prepared for anything.

"Where…is he?" Edward asked.

"In the shadows." The Joker answered, laughing again. The whole thing seemed to amuse him very much.

Edward looked around. One second was more than enough. Just one second and he would snap the man's neck. He just needed to find him first…

But before he could find him, another boomerang hit him, this time he wasn't quick enough to catch it. No, he would have caught it if he knew the boomerang was coming. But he didn't even hear it. Edward could defeat a thousand knights with no effort, if he ever met one. But even all his might seemed to fall short, in front of the dark knight.

His legs were tied up by the boomerang, somehow. He quickly destroyed the rope, and started looking for the man in black again.

"Show yourself!" Edward shouted.

"Oh you _really _think that now that you are shouting he is going to appear? He is many things you know, but he isn't dumb. Oh no."

Edward didn't answer. He closed his eyes, and tried to listen to the man's thoughts. The Joker's loud insane thoughts kind of distracted him a little, but he could definitely hear something along the lines of "one more shot."

"There you are!" Edward shouted, rushing towards him.

The man threw what seemed like another boomerang at him. Edward again caught it with a single hand.

"It's no use. I can read your mind." Edward declared proudly.

The man seemed unimpressed.

"What am I thinking right now?"

Was the man still skeptical? Well, if he was, it was time to crush his believes.

_The batarang is going to electrocute you again._

"The batarang is going to…"Edward began, before being electrocuted again.

Though Edward stuttered, he was still standing. Electric shocks didn't hurt him that much, now that he was ready for them.

"_What_ are you?" The man asked, surprised that he was still standing.

"I am a Vampire."

As he said those words, Edward attacked him. One second was more than enough to break his neck. Or rather one second would have been more than enough, if the man hadn't thrown a smoke bomb at the ground, taking Edward by surprise and buying the man another three seconds to escape.

"What are _you_?" Edward asked.

The man was now standing proudly besides the Joker, at least five feet away from Edward.

"I am Batman."

Batman. So that was his name. Not that it mattered, since he was about to die.

"Any last words...Batman?"

"If there is one thing I know about him Eddie," The Joker said "Is that he lets his actions do the talking."

Batman grabbed the Joker by his neck, and threw him somewhere. At first, Edward thought the dark knight had finally killed the Joker. But soon he realized the joker was thrown to something that vaguely resembled a shining blue cloud, and disappeared.

"Out of boomerangs?" Edward shouted, as he realized Batman was jumping towards the light as well.

"Yes." Batman admitted.

Edward soon followed them. He didn't know what that light was, but it couldn't be harmful since both the Joker and Batman had jumped towards it.

"Where are you? Batman?"

The young vampire didn't know where he was. It looked like a cave...But there were so many things inside it. So many things Edward couldn't recognize. Pieces of metal put together, a giant window displaying numbers...If he still believed in God, he might have believed that he was in hell.

"Where are you?" Edward shouted.

No response. Not from whom the angry vampire wanted, at least.

"Eddie! I was starting to get lonely!" The Joker said, with now both hands and feet tied up.

Edward ignored him, and started frenetically looking around for Batman.

"You are going mad, Eddie." The Joker shouted, his words filled with pleasure. "You are so angry that a mere human can keep up with you that you even forgot your objective! Weren't you going to kill me? Have you forgot about me already Eddie? You hurt my feelings by doing that, you know?"

Now, where was he? If he just tried to hear his thoughts, he should be able to find him...

"Now Eddie, you shouldn't be mad..."

If only that clown would shut up...

"...He has beaten creatures _much _more threatening than you. He has beaten other vampires, you know. Dracula, for one."

Why wasn't he hearing anything? Was Batman so far he couldn't even hear his thoughts?

"...demons, angels, Gods. But most of all, he has been able to survive _me._"

_I'm right behind you._

As soon as he caught those words, Edward turned around. There was no one behind him. The Joker started to laugh.

_I'm in the room right besides this one._

He wasn't even trying to hide his thoughts. Batman wasn't hiding. He was challenging him. He wasn't afraid. But Edward was. For the first time in his life, he felt a chill sent down his spine. It was clear that he was both more powerful and faster than Batman, but...

"Even though he knows what I am, even though he knows what I can do, he doesn't even flinch. He won't take a step back. Instead, he boldly challenges me. Is he insane, or brave?" The Joker slowly said, grinning as he watched Edward's reaction.

"How did you..."

"It's how I felt when I first met him."

Edward didn't say anything. He wanted to listen to the insane clown's story.

"...I have met many people Eddy. Some, more powerful than you can imagine. But he is different. He won't budge. He won't make a mistake. That man is the most fearsome hero I have ever met. Every time I'm up against someone else...It's fun. But when I kill them, when I defeat them, it doesn't feel...Fulfilling.

Edward didn't say anything. The story seemed to be going somewhere. And he felt that he really needed to understand what made that man in the bat suit so threatening.

"But him! He is one of a kind, I'm telling you. I won't kill him, and he won't kill me. We dance, and we dance. Towards our own death. Is he going to kill me? Or am I going to kill him? Neither of us know. We just follow the flow."

"I hope you are going somewhere with this." Edward said, as he grew impatient.

"Batman isn't the kind of person you can kill, Eddie." The joker said. "Every time you try to think outside of the box, he builds a new box around you. I've become literally in-sa-ne trying to get him, you know."

"I don't need to think outside the box." Edward replied angrily. "I just need to crush the box!"  
"And then," The Joker said. "You are going to realize you were fifty feet above the ground, and the box was the only thing stopping you from falling to your doom. That's the kind of man Batman is."

Edward was beginning to understand.

"If you play chess with him, and hide your king in your pocket, he will still win. That's how good he is." The Joker said, his voice filled with respect for his archenemy. "But I'm afraid this is all I'm going to tell you!"

Edward watched speechless as the Joker easily untied himself, and stood up.

"I must thank you, Eddie. Now I know where the Batcave is, and thanks to your distractions Batman didn't have time to bring me to the arkham asylum. I'm deeply in debt with you. If we ever cross paths again, I'll give you a big bottle of blood. The finest blood I can get you, I might add. Maybe even royal blood. Or kryptonian blood! Oh yes, that sounds fun!"

The Joker turned around, and walked towards the exit. Edward made a gesture to stop him, but the criminal mastermind just kept walking, and raised his arm to indicate he wasn't going to obey him.

"You may either get me, or bats. Not both."

Edward decided to go after Batman. It would only take a second to kill him, and then he could get back to the Joker and tell him how he killed the dark knight. It sounded like a good plan.

"Prepare yourself, Batman." Edward said quietly to himself as he opened the door and entered the room Batman was in.

Edward made two mistakes. Mistake number one, the thirst for blood and the frustration of not being able to kill Batman had made him go almost insane. Mistake number two, while he talked to the Joker, he gave him time to prepare for the fight. And Batman's enemies pay dearly for giving him preparation time.

As soon as Edward entered the room, he felt cold. It was weird. What was happening to him? He felt something hitting him in the chest, that was for sure. But what? What was it? A gun? That wouldn't make him feel like that. What had just happened to him? His whole body was inside a giant block of ice, save for his head that was just barely outside it. He couldn't move at all.

"It doesn't matter how strong you are. If you can't move your arms, you can't break it. Not for a while." Batman said as he walked towards Edward.

He was holding something that resembled a gun. It was too big to be a regular pistol. What was that? Edward's curiosity ached for an answer, but his pride didn't allow him to ask Batman.

"In case you are wondering, this is a souvenir I got from a fight with an old enemy."

Edward struggled to get free, in vain. Maybe he could eventually break the ice, but while his muscles were frozen? No amount of strength could do that.

"Why are you doing this?" Edward asked, forgetting about his dignity. "Why didn't you let me kill that...that...maniac?"

Batman didn't answer immediately. He just stared at Edward for a while, until he finally answered.

"If you kill him, you are going to become just like him."

"I am never-"

"JUST LOOK AT YOU!" Batman shouted.

Edward would have taken a step back and tripped, if he could. But fortunately for him, his frozen body didn't allow him to embarrass himself.

"You became obsessed with killing me. You didn't even kill the joker, who was your primary target. This just goes to show what this thirst for killing has done to you. Tell me, all the things you did today, do they sound like things you would normally do?"

"I...I don't know."

"Your thirst for blood is destroying yourself. Killing a person does this to you. It destroys your mind."

Edward again struggled to get free, filled with both anger and chagrin.

"Who the hell do you think you are to decide what is right and wrong?"

Batman did something Edward would never expect. He punched him.

"What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I am the goddamn Batman!"

Edward felt afraid. Very afraid. Never in his life he had felt as much fear as he felt at that moment. And he would never be as afraid in the future either.

"Swear that you will never, ever hurt another human being." Batman shouted.

"I swear to God, I-"

"SWEAR TO ME!"

Edward was paralyzed. He couldn't say anything else. He didn't want to say anything else. He just wanted to go back home. To go back to his father. To have a normal life.

Batman smiled, and shot him with his freezing gun. Now a giant block of ice, probably unconscious, or something close to it. He wasn't sure whether vampires could be knocked out cold, but while frozen Edward couldn't see or hear anything. It achieved the same effect, at least for Batman's purposes.

"Sending him back already, sir?"

"Yes Alfred. I think he learned his lesson."

Alfred watched as Batman put the frozen vampire inside the time machine, and prepared to send him back to his own time.

"What makes you so sure he won't kill people again, sir?"

Batman finished up inputting the coordinates, and sent Edward back to the past.

"Teenagers are similar to criminals, in a way."

"What way sir?"

"They are a superstitious and cowardly lot."


End file.
